To Tweet, or not to Tweet

I'm not a tweeter. I don't officially follow anyone on Twitter, but sometimes I find myself coming up with tweets that I would write, if I tweeted. I live in a land of tweet make believe. It's not that I've got anything terribly earth shattering to report, just an occasional flicker of wit that will bubble up and make me think to myself, "Now that right there would be a good tweet!" I have a friend who tweets and she's wickedly witty, often tweeting tweets that make me crack up and shake my head at her mastery with the english language. I told her about my closet tweeting and she encouraged me to get a Twitter account. "Do it!!" she said, but I'm reluctant to go down that road. I already have a FB account (who doesn't at this point?). FB keeps me acutely aware of keeping it real and crossing the line of too much information on the status updates. What little I know of tweeting bears the same peril. Everyone has at least one FB friend who writes about going to the grocery store, then Petco, etc., etc. I'm friends with a woman on FB whom I really don't know at all (does this happen to anyone else?), but I've learned a lot about her through her posts. Many times I've come close to unfriending her after reading a particularly inane post, but somehow I'm bizarrely fascinated by her ability to post such drivel on a constant basis so I keep her on the list for entertainment purposes. Sure, she clogs up my news feed, but I always know what she's having for lunch, dinner and who has hurt her feelings, made her smile, what she's wearing, etc. She even posts pictures that she taken of herself asking her friends to comment on her latest weight loss. Gross. I'm kind of amazed that none of her "real" friends have taken this person aside and said in a low voice, "Um, you might want to ease up on the extremely boring and way too personal status updates. Just saying." Although, I suspect this person is a giant drama queen and she would burst into tears and immediately post something like, "it's always enlightening to learn who is a true friend and who is just jealous of my honesty and willingness to give of myself. Goodbye, XXXX XXXXX"

There are times when I do a status update that causes my friends to make amusing comments and that's always a good time. I get a little rush when I see a list of comments under my current status. Of course, it's easy to blow an hour on FB without even realizing it. Straying from page to page. Stalking this person and that person. It's quite time consuming and I always swear that I'll limit the time I'm on it. But it calls me back like a siren on a rock, wooing me with notifications and updated news feeds. I can't possibly add Twitter to my list of daily chores, too. It would mean getting up at 3 a.m. to get everything I need to accomplish for one day. I think I'll just stick to fantasy tweeting. At least for the time being. Okay, time to check my news feed one last time before I start doing real work. It'll just take a second...